The important question is not whether he has baggage -- but what he's doing about it.
Some people have a long history of having been mistreated, taken advantage of or having been abused in past relationships.
I felt he just wasn’t that into me and I had screwed it up. I also realized quickly that this man is NOT that other asshat. He is honest, he is kind, he is real and he makes me laugh!!
But by comparing him to the douche-nozel I am doing him a major disservice.
In that case, you could end up dating a chivalric misogynist, a man who is perpetually bitter toward the same women he's always trying to save.
I was scared and goofy and trying to control things. Who is this jaded, insecure woman in the paragraph above? If I open my heart to someone is he going to squash it and go running off, doing bad things and leave me alone? You can’t expect new and exciting things to come into your life unless you peel back the barbed wire and lower the walls and allow another person to see whats underneath. If the man you're dating has had a lot of bad experiences, listen to what he has to say about them.If he knows how he contributed to those situations and what he wants to do differently this time, then his bad feelings about his past relationships can probably be managed.I’ve gotten some counseling, I’ve stayed away from dating, I’ve focused on myself, I’ve taken time to get to know me and focus on becoming comfortable in my own skin. The Mythical Gentleman is still out there, a hidden resource waiting to be discovered. Right out of the gate I got a message from a very handsome man and we began chatting. He could be the Right one or he could be the Right Now one. I’m going to give him every opportunity to sweep me off my feet and I’m going to take every opportunity to enjoy the process and show him kindness and fun.Since starting to open myself up to flirting and possibly dating a mere few weeks ago, I have discovered a few things. Once you’ve seen the kind of creeps that troll for young girls, and some of the young girls that disguise themselves as grown ups…well, I’ll let you fill in the gaps of what kind of fresh Hell that is. I’ve also discovered that some men can be really sweet, endearing and there are still gentlemen in the world. We hit it off in the chats and he gave me his number and we began chatting outside the app. I can pay my own bills and take care of business…but the truth of the matter is, I’m ready for a man in my life. Whatever happens will happen and our only job is to enjoy the journey.