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10) You don’t have to enjoy them, but have a working knowledge of the rules for football and baseball.

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If you need more details, you should probably go ask your mom. Since your mom is unfathomably attractive — and since unfathomably attractive women have (somewhat) easier lives — I’d suggest you start emulating her. Your best strategy would be to avoid all assholes, awkward and, um, unawkward, regardless of how attractive and “unique” they seem to be. They’re the ones who intrigue you and make you feel a little tingly because they literally do not give a fuck about you or anything you do.

But, the man wanting to sleep with you is the foundation for all of that, and you’d be wise never to forget that. And by “grown-ups” I mean “old motherfuckers.” If you’re 21 years old, and you and your boyfriend are going through some serious adversity, break the hell up with him.

No need to be “working through” anything if you’re still not even old enough to serve in the House of Representatives.

So my first bit of advice is to finish the conversation you started. It’s ridiculous that he has excluded you from a large part of his life — holidays, milestone birthdays, etc.

It would seem that someone so intent on “not having problems” would have some vested interest in his girlfriend of a year, whom he’s gone out of his way to keep from meeting his daughters, actually finally meeting them.

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